The Patient Heart

The patient heart that beats within
My battered, bloody chest
Has been beating for so many years
And has always stood time’s test.

Ripped out, crushed, broken in two
Time and time again.
I really have to marvel
At the places it has been.

A teenage crush, a life’s partner
Both have metered its beat.
And at the appropriate time
Have caused my heart’s defeat.

I stood right up and counted
The heart beats per minute,
In disbelief and amazement
That there were beats left in it.

Does that mean my heart
Is more resilient than yours?
Or could it possibly mean
My spirit just endures?

I never made the decision
To join my life with another
Only to have my heart broken
Too late, I did discover.

Would I choose to enter in
A union that would cause pain?
Risking sadness and heartbreak
Time and time again?

Fear of love, fear of loss
Fear of having to let go
Fear of being forever alone,
Are things, of which, I know.

The human heart is frail
And stronger than an ox.
But first, before giving it,
Put your fears behind locks.

Easier said than done,
You sniff, as your retort.
Easier done than said,
It you have the right support.

If you choose someone to love
With your eyes wide open,
And recognize love when you see it,
In deeds, not just words spoken.

Finding real love another time
Can help, your fears, to spurn.
Finding someone to love all of you
Asking only for your love in return.

To have someone love you,
Fully, and without fear
Is truly quite a miracle
Something to be held dear.

Love is not something to cast off lightly
To reject or to make jest,
Look carefully at what you might lose,
When you deny love’s request.

To ask someone to wait while you finish work
Leftover from chapters passed.
Is really quite appropriate,
If the new love is to last.

The time to work on closing
The pages of your past life
Was long before you got here
With this new woman you seem to like.

You had no reason to do the work
You were comfortable in your rut
Safe and sound and sorry
Too lazy to get off your butt.

Now you risk a loss in your life
That’s larger than those past,
For you have the opportunity to act
And make this new love last.

Not in the power of some other being
Or a quirky chance of fate,
You can make this love work,
Assuming you’re not too late.

The power is yours, to make decisions
That impact your very own future,
Go or stay, love or leave,
Keep her love, or lose her.

So, what is it that is really?
Rocking your personal world?
Is this woman who loves you
Not your kind of girl?

Do you not have feelings for her?
Or find her not attractive?
Is there something in her nature
That you find too distractive?

So, take your time, make your choices
Then please, do have your say.
And so will she, have choices, that is.
Deciding to wait forever, or go away.

I Wait for You.......

My decision is already made
A product of my heart’s desire and my mind’s thoughts,
I have assembled a wish list and filled it
And it is you.

Feeling, touching, holding you every waking hour
In my imagination.
Knowing that reality is probably
A million miles away.

Longing for a closeness to you
A togetherness you have had before
Violated by the unkind, uncaring, hateful
Actions of the one you shared it with.

Longing for love from you
Love I have never known
Love that is painfully remembered by you
From another woman.

Feeling distance building between us
Fearing that you are letting me go
Yet, loving you enough, my darling
To tell you “it’s alright to say goodbye”.

Patient and kind, Caring and loving,
Words used by others , To describe me.
Descriptions that have no meaning,
If they are not used by you.

I have no way to convince you
That I could be a person to love.
I can only sit here, powerless,
And hope you find out for yourself.

Find out, and realize deep in your heart
That something is missing in your life
And somebody is waiting to share it with you
And the void can be filled.

And so, as I grow older each day,
And live and laugh and learn
I pray that, somehow, you will come back to me
And pull me close into your arms.

And so, I wait for you.

Sunsets

How many more sunsets will I have
As I reach the sunset of my own time?
Will there be plenty more to see,
And memories to make, so sublime?

Can I know what lies ahead?
What path my life must take?
Or will it all be revealed to me,
Through mistakes that I must make?

I love to watch the setting sun,
Orange rays proclaim its glory.
Will my own days end similarly
Or will my life be another story?

I’m not thinking of my own sunset,
For my life is all about living.
I am concerned that, at the end,
My taking is outweighed by my giving.


The joy I find in watching the sunset
Is the same joy that I try to give to others.
But, if I can save a little for me,
Well, that would be my druthers!

There certainly are no guarantees,
In this unpredictable life I live,
I only ask for someone to love,
Because I still have so much love to give.


As I watched the sunset tonight,
My heart was feeling very lonely.
And so I prayed that my Sunset days
Would be with my One and Only.

A Visitor??

I close my eyes in frustration,
Not feeling well, and wanting to shout:
Why do I feel like this today?
And why am I so full of self-doubt?

I feel the movement of air
Across my face just now.
I open my eyes; the room is empty and still.
I felt it; I’m sure, but how?

I feel a settling in my soul,
A new, peaceful sensation.
I hear a familiar voice speaking
Giving me a revelation.

You are fine, you will go on
You still have work to do.
There are others who are suffering
And they depend on you.

Throw off your mantle of doubt,
Let the sun in your soul shine.
For you still have work to do,
Sweet Daughter of mine.

I nearly jump out of my skin
I recognize now that voice
It is my Daddy commanding me
And I have no choice.

Get up, Dear Daughter, stop hurting
Get out and do what you must do.
I’ll see you in the sweet By and By,
When your work is through.
Cali