The Envy Tree

I once had a friend,
Or she had me
Til I found out she lived
Under The Envy Tree.

If I had a boyfriend
She had two.
What I couldn’t handle
She could do.

If I had a chore to do
That wasn’t much fun
She had to do the same
But she was already done.

If I read a good book
She’d already read it twice
If I felt bad about being naughty
She bragged about being nice.

If I had new shoes
She already had a pair.
If I was going on a trip
She’d already been there..

If I wrote a poem
Verse by verse
Hers was better
And mine was worse.

If I was happy
And my life was going well
She was feeling tragic
And looking like hell.

She chastised me once
For just being lucky
I always lived in sunshine
And everything was ducky.

I saw the light
And set myself free.
I left her, still living
Under The Envy Tree.

Choices...

Each day, when I wake up,
I make a conscious choice:
Hide myself in silence
Or bravely find my voice.

Go out and do the work
That I’ve been trained to do?
Or take another direction
And leave the work for you.

It isn’t always easy
Or even a lot of fun
But I know I feel better
When my work is done.

I’m really nobody special
I’m just another nurse.
Sometimes I care for the sick,
And sometimes, I write verse.

Life is not all good
And life is not all bad
I just try to make each day
The best one I’ve ever had.

Am I just an idiot?
Too dumb to see my Fate?
Or is my Happy Heart,
A very lucky trait?

Whatever life’s meaning,
No matter what the reason,
I’ll deal with things head-on
Each in its due season.

Please don’t think ‘cause I’m smiling
That I don’t know the score.
I know how anger and grief feel,
I just like Happy more!

Words

Words swirling, flying about
As if they are attacking me.
Words coming from my head
Just wanting to be set free.

Words that tell the story
Of the daily life I live.
Words that paint a picture,
To My Beloved, I will give.

Letters form the syllables
And syllables form the words
Words then come together
And soar just like the birds.

Words that let me describe
The beauty on this earth
Words that help to quantify
What all this beauty is worth.

Words that offer a description
Of the daily wonders that I see
Things that populate my world
And do bring such joy to me.

Descriptive words, in sentences
That sometimes need to rhyme,
Words congregated in such a way
Their meaning lasts for all time.

Love Softly Spoken...

His words fall gently
On my happy heart
Visions are created
From the very start.

Lulling me so sweetly
With peaceful meaning
Professions of Love
My heart is gleaning.

Tenderness portrayed
In the spoken word
Feelings expressed
And softly heard.

Time together
Such precious time
Time to share
A Love divine

Closeness achieved
In such simple ways
Bonds that last
Through all our days.

Love defined
Love expressed
Love that is shared
Is always the best.

Forward!

Forward! Moving slowly, moving surely
Heading toward the future, you and I
Healing, revealing, ourselves to each other
Always truthfully, never with a lie.

Questions occurring daily, hourly
Answers appearing, but not as quickly.
Minds full of questions, never answers
Words reveal themselves to us thickly.

Who are we, what are we doing
How did we get to this place?
Is there something that will be revealed?
Or is it as plain as the nose on my face?

Why do things happen the way that they do
Why are tears shed over the littlest things?
Who can decide what is important?
Who knows what tomorrow brings?

Why would we travel this unknown road
Heading toward who knows what
If we didn’t have some sense of peace
That at the end is what we sought?

Do we need an explanation
For every misplaced turn?
Is there a need to understand
Every lesson that is learned?

Can we just accept our fate
And bravely move on ahead?
Trusting that the eventual outcome
Will not be something to dread?

Are we confident enough in our sight
To know that we truly cannot see
Just what is around every turn
And what will happen eventually?

Do we have enough trust in each other
And enough faith in what will be
That we can walk hand in hand
Toward the future, you and me?

Another Pleasant Day In Podunk

Sunshine filled my day today
And puffy white clouds in the sky.
Things just seemed to fall in place,
And I didn’t even ask why.

Before I left the office,
I laughed and joked with my friends,
Sometimes we’re somber and busy,
Other times, the fun never ends.

Out on the road, going here and there
I had lots of patients to see.
Worried about things, not feeling well,
They all needed some help from me.

Working and living in a small town,
Has lots of benefits that I can see,
A patient asked if I knew her niece:
Yes, Mary went to school with me!

A paramedic, on an ambulance
This morning, made a funny face at me
I guess I was frowning, or maybe thinking
It was my smile, he wanted to see.

A friend of mine, brought oranges
Downtown to the office for me.
An extra trip, out of his way
Just to bring me some Vitamin C.

All in all, I had a very nice day
Filled with lots of friendly faces.
Things to do, and patients to see,
In lots of different places.

Back and forth, across town
Be here at nine, “I’ll be there at ten”
And tomorrow morning, bright and early
I’ll get up and do it all over again.

Across The Miles......

My heart was pounding, my face, all smiles
He called me from across the miles.
I talked to him and he talked to me
It was just as it was meant to be.

Tentative words, coming slowly at first
His words, so tender, assuaged my thirst.
His spoken words, I’ve read them before…
Now hearing them means so much more.

His voice so sweet, gentle and kind…..
Now lives forever in my mind.
As I read and savor every word….
It is not just written, it is also heard.

Not just words spoken, but thoughts expressed,
Putting forever, any doubts to rest….
Each word has meaning; each word beguiles
He called me from across the miles.

A Chance Encounter: Chapter 11

Finally, Seth thought, I get to buy this woman some dinner!
Wait! She has been through hell today, is tonight the right time?
Table for two please, in the corner where nobody can see her poor face!
Seth pondered his dilemma, holding her as close as he dared.

They walked silently from the emergency room toward the corner.
Rrrrrrring! A new, irritating sound broke the sweet silence:
“Hello? Hi mom! How’s Sarah? She is? Tell her I miss her, too!”
There goes tonight! Seth could feel his anger building.

How selfish! Was his next thought. She could have died today!
She has suffered through a traumatic experience
That left an indelible imprint on her sweet face.
How could he expect her to go out to dinner tonight?

“It was my mom” Annie shared. “Sarah is going to spend the night
With her cousins. She wanted to say ‘good night’ to me.”
She was smiling at him. He felt his face flush and a smile appeared.
“So, dinner then?” He heard himself ask her pleadingly.

“Oh yes! I’m starving” Seth realized he was starving too.
“Where would you like to go?” He wanted her to choose.
“Could we go down by the lake?” What a good idea!
Just you and me, some food, and a front row seat by Lake Merritt.

They found a deli, purchased a simple meal and a bottle of wine,
And headed toward the lake. “Bench for two” Seth thought out loud.
Balmy evening, beautiful woman, and finally, a chance to get to know her.
Life is good! Seth smiled at her and kissed her cheek ever so gently.


posted 8 months ago, updated 12 minutes later
(This chapter wrote itself this afternoon...there may be more)

Finally, Seth thought, I get to buy this woman some dinner!
Wait! She has been through hell today, is tonight the right time?
Table for two please, in the corner where nobody can see her poor face!
Seth pondered his dilemma, holding her as close as he dared.

They walked silently from the emergency room toward the corner.
Rrrrrrring! A new, irritating sound broke the sweet silence:
“Hello? Hi mom! How’s Sarah? She is? Tell her I miss her, too!”
There goes tonight! Seth could feel his anger building.

How selfish! Was his next thought. She could have died today!
She has suffered through a traumatic experience
That left an indelible imprint on her sweet face.
How could he expect her to go out to dinner tonight?

“It was my mom” Annie shared. “Sarah is going to spend the night
With her cousins. She wanted to say ‘good night’ to me.”
She was smiling at him. He felt his face flush and a smile appeared.
“So, dinner then?” He heard himself ask her pleadingly.

“Oh yes! I’m starving” Seth realized he was starving too.
“Where would you like to go?” He wanted her to choose.
“Could we go down by the lake?” What a good idea!
Just you and me, some food, and a front row seat by Lake Merritt.

They found a deli, purchased a simple meal and a bottle of wine,
And headed toward the lake. “Bench for two” Seth thought out loud.
Balmy evening, beautiful woman, and finally, a chance to get to know her.
Life is good! Seth smiled at her and kissed her cheek ever so gently.

A Chance Encounter: Chapter 10

Rushed out of the bookstore to the waiting ambulance,
Seth only catches a glimpse of Annie as she goes by.
Eyes closed, face battered and bruised, he can’t decide:
Should he cry for her, or go upstairs and kill the man who did this to her?

The crisis worker is conferring with the police captain.
Mr. Langston, the policewoman holding little Sarah, and Seth are ordered out of the bookstore.
As he looks around the street outside, Seth can see that the SWAT team is in place.
This is surely the strangest—and worst—day of my life.

Minutes turn to hours, the stand-off continues.
Sarah has been taken to her grandmother.
Mr. Langston and Seth decide to go to the hospital.
Annie is okay.

She looks up at him: the bruising has not diminished the beauty of her eyes.
She smiles at Seth and says “hi”, a casual, friendly “hi”
Not the kind you would expect after a day like today.
Seth is amazed: Annie is okay. Annie is okay. He says it over and over.

The standoff has ended.
Russ surrendered peacefully.
No shots fired, no further injuries sustained.
The only evidence of the day’s events is on Annie’s face.

Russ is taken to a mental facility
Where he will be placed back on medications
For his Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
He will receive the help he needs for the pain he suffers.

Annie is ready to be released from the emergency room.
Mr. Langston offers her a ride home.
Then he notices that Annie’s eyes are locked on Seth’s
And his on hers. Bookish man says his good byes and leaves.

“Do you think we can talk now?” Seth asks with a smile.
Her smile answers his and she replies: “yes”.
Arm in arm, they walk out of the ER and into the balmy evening.
“How about some coffee?” “You owe me dinner” she responds with a laugh.

A Chance Encounter: Chapter 9

He raced across that same street, again.
Only this time with more urgency than ever before.
Mr. Langston was waiting for him at the door.
There was an ambulance, and a fire engine in the street.

“What happened?” Seth heard himself ask.
“Nothing, yet” was the guarded answer.
Bookish man told him that Annie’s ex had showed up
At the bookstore this morning.

“He was demanding to see Sarah, and threatening Annie”
The terror in his voice transferred instantly to Seth.
“Where is Annie now?” Seth was terrified.
“He’s holding her hostage, upstairs”

Nothing in his life had prepared Seth for this scenario.
He hardly knew Annie and his worst fear was that he never would.
“Who is Sarah?” he asked bookish man.
“She is their daughter. She is four.”

Seth rushed in, only to be stopped by a policeman.
A crisis worker is attempting to talk to Russ, Annie’s ex husband.
“Russ, we just want to help you. Let Annie go so we can talk.”
No answer. Seth could hear his heart beat.

A policewoman is holding a small child. A little girl with reddish hair.
And her mommy’s sparkling blue eyes. She is looking at him.
He is keenly aware that, before this is all over, she may be an orphan.
He has never felt so helpless in his whole life.

The crisis worker pleads again: “let her go, man, let’s talk”
Seth hears a sickening thud, oh God, is Annie all right?
He cannot breathe. His eyes are watering. Why is this happening?
Annie staggers down the stairs and collapses in a firefighter’s arms.

A Chance Encounter: Chapter 8

When the books were all inventoried, and the boxes broken down,
There was nothing left for him to do but leave.
He looked at her one last time; she was filing the paperwork
And she looked beautiful to him.

“Do you know when we might have a chance to talk?” he asked.
“Next Sunday? After work, would that be okay?”
“Nothing sooner? There’s no chance we can talk before then?”
“No” a terrible, final answer he didn’t want to hear.

He walked out of the bookstore into the night.
He wanted to take her home but Mr. Langston was going her way.
He crossed that street again.
Tiptoed past Mrs. Thompson’s apartment and into his own.

He slept fitfully, unable to get her out of his mind.
He awoke with a start when the alarm went off.
Why does sleep come so easy just before the alarm?
Life isn’t fair.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
All looked the same, only the names were changed.
No phone calls, no messages, no Mrs. Thompson even.
Do I have the plague, or something? He thought to himself.

Saturday, only one more day of waiting until he could see Annie.
Actually, he had developed waiting into an artform.
The drawings on the pad by the phone would attest to that.
Will I spend my life waiting? Or do I get to live? He wondered.

Another night of tossing and turning. Ugly thoughts invaded his head.
Find someone else, she’s too much work; you never even get to see her.
Too many secrets, too many obstacles. Even Natalie was easier to see.
But who would want to be with Natalie, if he had a chance with Annie?

Sunday morning at last. Leisurely cup of coffee, sun shining in through the window.
Jeans and t-shirt, 2-days’ stubble, hair in a mess.
“Seth? This is Mr. Langston. Could you come down to the bookstore?”
His heart pounded from the urgency in bookish man’s voice. He raced out the door.

A Chance Encounter: Chapter 7

“Hi, Seth! Sorry I missed you! Call me when you get a chance”
Why would he want to call Natalie? Erase.
“Seth? It’s Annie. I’ll try again later.”
No number to call, no real message, just more waiting.

And more waiting. Until midnight waiting.
The phone didn’t ring at all waiting.
Not even telemarketers waiting.
He went to bed feeling defeated.

Tuesday night, rush home from work.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Avoid Mrs. Thompson.
Is there a blinking light?

“Hello, Seth? It’s Annie.
I’ll be at the bookstore tonight doing inventory.
If you want, you can come down and we’ll talk.”
If I want? If I want? He thought to himself as he went out the door.

The bookish man had a name, Mr. Langston,
And he smiled as he let Seth in the locked door.
“She’s upstairs” he said as he nodded in the direction of the stairs.
Seth couldn’t get there fast enough.

“Annie? Where are you?”
“Over here” came her sweet voice from behind a stack of boxes.
“What’s going on?” he knew he asked too urgently.
After all, they were just acquaintances.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, betraying his genuine concern.
“Oh, yes, I am. Sarah was sick.”
Lost, he asked the obvious: “who is Sarah?”
Annie looked at him pleadingly: “I have so much to tell you, and so much to do here tonight.”

“Okay” he replied. “If I help you tonight, will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?”
“Oh Seth, I can’t, I have to go home right after work.”
He felt his temperature rising, he didn’t understand
And he didn’t like what was happening.

They worked nearly silently for the next three hours.
Slowly, efficiently inventorying the books in the boxes.
It was not what he had in mind but, he was grateful.
After all, he just wanted to be with her.

A Chance Encounter: Chapter 6

He was crossing this street more frequently now,
Always in a hurry. Anticipating Annie.
Ten after eight. She should be there by now.
He opened the door with his heart in his hand.

“I’m sorry, sir, she’s not here today.”
He was looking at a bookish old man
In a wrinkled cardigan sweater
Telling him his plans are lost.

“Why don’t you telephone her at home?”
Bookish man asks reasonably.
How do I tell him that I don’t even know her last name,
Much less her phone number?

“Could you call her for me and give her my number?”
He pleaded with the bookish, cardigan sweater man.
Looking truly perplexed: “you don’t even know her number?”
Explaining it would not be easy but he had to try.

“You see, I used to know her and I hadn’t seen her in years.”
“I saw her in here accidentally last Sunday and we had coffee”.
He thinks I’m nuts, I’m sure he does; it sounds so crazy, even to me.
Bookish man smiled: “you must be Seth.”

He raced home as fast as he could, crossing that street another time.
Bookish man had dialed the number, after making him turn his back,
Then handed him the phone to leave a message:
“Annie? It’s Seth. I really need to talk to you!” Gave his number and left.

The hours past unrelentingly, the phone sat there silently.
A ring, at last! Oh, Mrs. Thompson’s faucet is leaking.
Put her off until tomorrow, cannot leave now.
Checked the phone frequently, Dial tone? yes. Ring? not today.

Monday at work was excruciating, concentration was nil.
He raced home after work.
Ensnared by Mrs. Thompson, leaky faucet repaired.
And now to the answering machine, is there a blinking light?

A Chance Encounter: Chapter 5

Monday night. Dinner with the boss.
He was entertaining out of town clients
And depending on Seth to help him out.
No such luck.

“Excuse me?” he missed a comment
From an important client.
His boss was keenly aware
That he was not paying attention.

How could he?
Annie had completely taken over his mind.
How stupid. He had a brief encounter, then coffee
Now this? No other thoughts able to enter his mind?

It’s a good thing I won’t see her until Sunday,
He thought to himself
I need this time to put things in perspective.
Or better perspective, at least.

How could she do that to me?
A usually friendly, socially adept man.
SON: Survivor of Natalie, not easily taken in by a woman’s charm
Until now, at least.

Thursday: such agony!
It’s been days since I saw her
And nothing really happened
A friendly chat between two people who had some history.

He looked in the mirror and saw a love-struck puppy.
That is disgusting he thought, and then he smirked.
A rather nice looking, if love-struck, man
Maybe she finds me attractive.

Saturday evening, finally!
Can’t wait for tomorrow morning
He had wished his whole week away.
All for one tomorrow.

“So, Annie, would you like to go to dinner?”
He practiced out loud until it didn’t sound contrived
Or did it.
He went to sleep dreaming about tomorrow.