In The Blink Of An Eye

As time goes by
I wonder why...
I spent so much time
Wondering why.

Why not just live?
Why not just enjoy?
The time I have
On this little blue ball?

Why spend so much time
In pain and sorrow?
Why live my life
Worried about tomorrow?

Why watch time fly
As days grow to years
Why watch time fly
And give in to fears?

Live for today
And plan for the morrow.
Be open to life's joys
Instead of its sorrows.

Life is fleeting,
And quickly passes...
But life's joys
Its sorrows, surpasses.

Drops of Time

Little drops of time

Falling on my face,

Taking away my Youth,

Leaving wrinkles in its place.

Little drops of time

Falling from above

Took away the loneliness,

And brought me Love.

Little drops of Love,

Falling on my face,

Take away the pain and leave

A smile in its place.

Little drops of Love,

Fill my heart, every day

Taking away the emptiness,

And make me want to play.

Little drops of Laughter

Falling from the sky,

Take away the heartache

And let me fly.

Little drops of Joy,

Falling on my face,

Bring a sense of peace

To this Happy Place.

Quiet Glory...

Another day has happened...

Another day is coming to a close.

Did things happen the way I wanted?

Did events occur just as I chose?

If I could go back through my life

And edit out the things I should,

Would I still be who I am today,

If I achieved all the things I could?

Or would I be someone else?

Living life in a different space?

Would that other me be the same?

Or have the same voice and face?

Would I still have the happiness

That has found me at long last?

Or would I live sorrowfully,

Defeated by the life that passed?

I guess it doesn't matter

Where I think I might have been,

For I know that it is gone,

I shall never pass this way again.

And so I count my blessings

My memories, gather round.

And for whatever reasons,

Rejoice in the joy I have found.

If life is a tangled journey,

From birth to wherever we are,

I'm glad I made my own path,

And followed my own star.

As my day and my life are ending,

And I'm nearer the end of the story,

I'm thankful for the opportunity,

To live in my own, quiet glory.

Tis the Season...

It's quiet now

The day is done.

The night, left cold

By the setting sun.

Long lost faces

Once held so dear

Under cover of darkness,

Slowly reappear.

Gathering around me

One by one...

Encircling my soul

As the day is done.

No need to fear,

Or scream or cry,

No need to question,

Or wonder why.

Tis the season,

Happens once each year,

The visits begin

From memories, dear.

Those I love,

Who have gone on,

Come abide with me

Til tomorrow's dawn.

Swirling around,

In my head and heart,

Sharing stories,

Til they must part.

Every year, they come,

Every year, they stay,

And, once I remember,

They go away.

They know I'm fine,

And I'll be all right,

Alone, again....

Another quiet night.

Grandma's Table...

Gathered around Grandma's table,

Three generations of our family.

Sharing that special meal saved

For this one annual holiday.

Gentleness borne of loving thoughts

Easy conversation shared

Stories told, laughter follows,

It seems that they are always paired.

The bounty of the harvest

Spread out upon the table,

Hopes of togetherness abound

Calling us to come if we are able.

Sharing the food we always have,

The ritual we always keep,

Sitting there afterward and talking

And wanting to lie down and sleep.

The boys go out and throw the ball,

It's a beautiful autumn day,

While Grandma washes dishes,

And puts the food away.

As the sunlight leaves us

And the evening draws nigh...

Grandma surveys the scene,

And sighs a gentle sigh....

Another holiday meal is over

A feast shared with those held dear

Gracing, again, Grandma's table...

And looking forward to next year.

Peace at last, settles in...

Grandma's table is empty now,

Only the memories of the day remain..

And the love, at this table, shared..

Life Goes On...

Comforting words,

Spoken with glee..

A spectacular sunset,

For all to see.

Laughter from the

The next room,

Chases away

Any sense of gloom.

Lives touched

No longer forlorn

Mended hearts

New joy is borne.

Gently blowing

Breezes calm..

The sun provides

A soothing balm.

Life goes on

Day by day,

Love conquers all

And is here to stay.

Your Turn to Bloom..

Open up, Bright Flower

Don't start to fade...

It's your turn to bloom

Your dues are paid.

The good times are coming

The bad times are past

It's your turn to bloom,

And be happy, at last.

Though wrongs are not righted,

And justice is not done,

It's your turn to bloom,

And have some fun.

The chores are finished,

The children are grown,

It's your turn to bloom,

Your way will be shown.

Life has moved on

You've rounded the bend,

It's your turn to bloom,

And bloom till the end.

Sweet sunset is coming,

Then the darkness before dawn,

It's your turn to bloom,

Before it's all gone.

Harvest Moon

I looked eastward, into the darkening dusk

And saw above me, in the big, dark sky..

A perfect sphere, adorned with a face

White and glowing as it rose so high.

The contrast between the dark blue sky

And the milky white of the harvest moon,

Caught me unaware, on this crisp, fall night..

Not expecting the darkness to fall so soon.

And there, so suddenly, hovering over us,

The eucalyptus trees all standing in a row..

Standing there, in awe, with me...

As the moon put on its evening show.

Rising slowly in a cloudless sky,

Meant for lovers to sit and share...

And watch, in awe as its majesty..

Blankets the earth with its gentle glare...

The harvest moon, in a crisp fall sky..

Leaves have fallen and winter's on its way,

Seasons changing once again...

And life is more barren with each new day.

Summer's gone, with its riot of colors..

Verdant green pastures give way to fall..

And soon winter's cold wind will blow,

Dead leaves buried, snow covers it all..

And above us all, on this special night..

Presiding majestically over the time of rest,

Hangs the beautiful harvest moon,

Making this time of year the best..

Sweet Child O'Mine..

Precious Little Child, Sweet Child O'Mine..

Your eyes twinkle like the stars that shine..

The inner beauty that shows in your face,

Is borne of the joy that is your grace...

Alive and living and learning so many things..

The sound of your voice gives my heart wings.

I was there for your birth, Sweet Child O'Mine,

I was there for your birth, an event so divine.

How fast you've grown, and gotten so tall,

It's hard to remember when you were just small.

You learn so quickly, and you love so well,

Beauty so bewitching, you cast a spell...

Living so sweetly, and now out of my dreams,

And into real life, so very busy, it seems.

How can I touch you, what words will you hear?

What secret password will gain me entrance to your sphere?

How lovely the light, that glows in your soul,

And when we are together, the days, so full..

Guided by love and light and life and reasons...

We relish each day, and all of the seasons.

How I cherish the memories of your sweet baby days,

Even as I watch you growing, in my loving gaze...

Taller and prettier and kind and loving as can be,

You'll always be my Baby Noelle-y to me!

A House Full of Boys..

Today I’m celebrating

One of life’s special joys:

Saturday afternoon…

And a house full of boys!

College football on TV

Little one throwing the ball

“World of Warcraft” too…

I’m enjoying it all!

Kettle corn on the floor

And ground in the rug

A boy walks by me

And gives Grandma a hug.

Fingerprints on the table,

Red and sticky, mark the spot,

Where the little one sat,

His quesadilla was too hot.

Pillows from the sofa,

Scattered around on the floor,

Long-legged boys watching football

Come in slamming the door.

Two go outside

To throw the ball

Two still inside,

And I’m watching it all.

The house, so empty

On so many days,

Seems suited to boys

In so many ways.

Plenty of space

To spread out and play

Plenty of things

To move out of the way.

Good boys they all are

Even though strong-willed,

Keep them busy and happy

Give ‘em Legos to build.

And when it’s all over

And they must go…

I hope they remember

Grandma loves them so!

Constant Sorrow...

Forgive me, I’m not

A woman of constant sorrow.

I count my blessings

Each new tomorrow.

It’s not that I haven’t

Felt tremendous pain,

It’s just that thinking of it

Gives me nothing to gain.

I know our world

Is full of great trouble

And I’m not ignoring it

Or living in a bubble.

I have my thoughts

And I have my fears

I’ve cried my fair share

Of heart-wrenching tears.

But I always get up

And seek out the sun

The rainclouds have left,

And a new day’s begun.

There is no joy

In remembering my woes,

Or sharing my suffering

Or counting my foes.

There is joy is to be had

In each new dawning day

And Faith, Hope and Trust

Guide me on my way.

Heroes

The alarm was sounded. Without hesitation, they went into action

Habits, ingrained through real life trauma and practice drills, took over

Thoughts were of the needs of others, always

Code 3 to the scene: lights and sirens onward to meet the tragedy

Horrified by the sights that greeted them, but not missing a step

Pulling turnouts up, grabbing equipment, heading without hesitation

To greet the grim scene, head on, fearlessly

Passing fleeing civilians: coughing, dazed, bleeding, crying

Up the down staircase, rushing past those who were seeking safety

Into the darkness and uncertainty, pushing forward, searching

Calling out to victims, survivors, the frightened, cowering humanity

Awakened forever from any sense of complacency

Black smoke, burning jet fuel, screams, crashing walls and cinders

Nothing stopped their upward trek, seeking those who needed their help

Reaching, touching horrified humanity, screaming in fright and pain

“I’m here, I’ll help you!” A joyous sound in the midst of a nightmare

Flashlights illuminating unbelievable destruction and painful death

Heroes, searching desperately for survivors in the midst of the rubble.

Thunderous sounds of crashing architecture, dropping like thrown powder

On top of itself, dropping, dropping, dropping until it reached

Ground Zero.

Happy Birthday....

Happy Birthday....

September is here again, with the bittersweet memories attached. My mother was born in September, and died in September, two weeks after her 65th birthday....

She was a one-of-a-kind, my mother. I have never met anyone quite like her. She was intelligent, beautiful, and creative, and yet, lost and sad at the same time. She loved photograpy and took most of the pictures of me that are on my profile page.

She came from a tragic family, and that tragedy shaped her choices for the rest of her life. She wanted to be surrounded by beauty,and so she planted roses and other flowers. She shunned the darkness and tried to live in the sunlight. She loved musicals, she loved to read, and she loved to travel.

I think about her often and I talk to her, too. I wear her engagement ring on a chain around my neck. It is amazing how many people have asked me about that ring, and what it means. And maybe this poem, that I wrote this morning in a fit of tears, will explain..

I wish I had the notes you once wrote,

But you’ll be around forever.

I wish I could remember how you smelled,

But you’ll be around forever.

I wish I could touch that soft dress you wore,

But you’ll be around forever.

I wish I’d said “I love you” more…

But you’ll be around forever.

I wish I had listened more closely,

When you talked about your hopes and dreams,

But you’ll be around forever.

I wish I had a recording of your voice,

With the soft, lilting way you said your words,

But you’ll be around forever.

I wish I could brush your hair again,

And place it in a cascading pile

On top of your perfectly-shaped head

But you’ll be around forever.

I wish I had said the things I wanted to say,

And told you what you needed to hear.

I wish I had gotten in your face,

And defied you, just for once

So you would know that I am strong

And that my heart cannot be swayed

And that my courage will prevail…

But I was wrong and didn’t know it then…

You could not be around forever!

Happy Birthday, Momby!

Today...

The sun is setting

Yet the twilight lingers..

Another day

Slips through my fingers.

Another day of life

On my tab, mounts

Did I choose

Something that counts?

Did I accomplish

Something brave or bold?

Is there another story

That I have told?

Is this world

A better place?

Did I put a smile

On someone’s face?

Of the countless things

I wanted to do…

Did any get done?

Did I follow through?

Did I tell those I love

What they mean to me?

Did I paint a picture

For them to see?

Did I finish things

Already started?

Did I share kind thoughts

Before friends departed?

Have I done

What’s needed today?

Have I said

What I needed to say?

And now, at last

As this day is done

I think I’ll go watch

The setting sun.

Sorrow comes and sorrow goes....

Sorrow comes and sorrow goes…

The feeling is fleeting but the pain lingers.

How can I live a life filled with sorrow?

When did the joy slip through my fingers?

I have known pain and crushing disappointment,

I gave them their due, then sent them away.

Sometimes lingering in a pool of self-pity,

Other times, losing them in the light of day.

Life is full of those moments of sorrow…

That turn into days and weeks and years.

Seconds, and minutes and hours lost

Because I gave in to my worst fears.

I cannot predict what sorrows are waiting

To inflict pain at the worst possible time.

But then, again, what time is best?

Does pain ever have any reason or rhyme?

And can we really live in a happy world?

Devoid of pain and suffering and sorrow?

How can I appreciate the sunshine today,

Unless I know that it might rain tomorrow?

So every day, I appreciate life’s little joys

They help me assuage the moments of sorrow.

And if the clouds are raining today,

Then the sun will surely shine tomorrow.

Such a simple verse you are reading,

And really not so very clever.

But these simple thoughts expressed

Abide with me, in my heart, forever.

Why??

They come to me at inopportune times,

Taunting me with their quickness and light.

Swirling about in my head so easily,

I try to remember them, with all my might.

And when I finally find a better time,

A time to remember them and contemplate,

They have flitted right out of my head,

Always in a hurry, never willing to wait.

And so, I sit here, empty-headed

Not knowing what clever thing to say.

Why, Oh Why, dear enlightened words,

Did you have to jump up and go away?

Ode to My Blond Guys!!

Here’s to you,

Blond, gnarly dudes!

With golden voices,

And attitudes.

You asked for help,

From Dear Little Rhonda,

Drove around in a woody,

And not a Honda.

You asked me to

Be true to my school,

And wore Hawaiian shirts,

How very cool!

You hung ten

And rode the curl,

Then asked me to be

Your Surfer Girl.

You never sang

About Doom and Gloom

Even when you spent time

In your room.

And once, you jammed

With Dean and Jan

Sang and laughed

Through “Barbara Ann.”

My teenage years

Were full of joys,

Thanks to you,

Dear Beach Boys!

Cali-Surf's Up!-fornia Blonde

Sweet Summer Memories..

Sometimes it’s fun to look back at places and times and things that made life special when I was young. Was it really as great as I remember it? Or has my mind “edited” out the parts that don’t fit in the memory I want to keep?

During the summer, we ate outside more often than we ate in the house. We played until it was almost dark, and then gathered on Daddy’s Marine Corps blanket, in the middle of the back lawn, to live the classics, as Daddy read them to us.

Slowly, gently the earth has warmed,

No chilling wind on this summer day.

Gone is the snow, gone are the clouds,

Sprinklers sprinkle, and children play.

Butterflies, with their regal wings,

Flitter among the pretty flowers.

In the shade of a tree, is a good place to be,

And the children play there for hours.

Daddy pulls out the rusty old barbeque

And, with a wire brush, cleans the grill.

The charcoal is lit, in the dark old pit,

Pleasant summer memories linger still.

Mama’s gone back in the kitchen,

She’s making homemade ice cream.

Summer’s more sublime, Most of the time,

Or that’s just the way it would seem.

Running around in the backyard at dark,

The grass feels velvety between our toes,

Mismatched shirts, over ragged shorts,

Oh, how I loved those summer clothes.

Sitting down to a pleasant summer meal,

Under a blanket of bright, heavenly stars,

Grilled hamburger patties, toasted buns,

And mustard and mayo, right from the jars.

Corn on the cob, with melted butter,

A fresh green salad and olives, too.

It’s all so delicious, but remember:

Save room for lots of ice cream, too!

After supper, when the dishes are cleared,

Gathered on the blanket, it’s time to read,

Daddy’s voice brings alive “Gulliver’s Travels”

What more perfect evening could I conceive?

Sometimes I Get Introspective........

There are two forms of solitude:

One is loneliness, an unfortunate state,

And aloneness, which is chosen.

Loneliness leads to isolation and despair

Aloneness provides a time for repair.

Making choices that preserve my sense of self

Is not the same as being abandoned by another.

Sometimes abandonment is accidental

And my someone did not want to leave.

Other times, it is done with a purpose

Either way, it causes me to grieve.

Is it harder to grieve the loss of someone

Who did not want to go away?

Or is the pain more palpable when

The other is still living and just decided to stray?

Can the difference between the types

Of solitude be measured or judged?

Can aloneness provide comfort

That loneliness can’t?

Is there any joy to be had in finding out

That the choice to abandon me was calculated

To cause maximum grief on my part?

There is no joy in loneliness but

There can be great joy in mastering aloneness.

Learning to be comfortable with myself;

Leisurely learning what makes me tick.

Testing my strength and endurance

By placing me in the thick of it.

Having the time, in my aloneness,

To come to the realization:

I know who I am, I know where I’m going

And I know what it is that I want.

In my aloneness, through introspection

Deep in my heart of hearts,

I find that the Whole of me,

Is greater than my Parts.

And when I am in this place,

Looking carefully at my needs,

Sometimes I see that the Sum of me

Is made up of good deeds.

I Cannot Help But Wonder Why???

I met a little guy, 5 years old, in my travels as a home health nurse. 

He was dirty, and skinny, and had no shoes. When he smiled, his front teeth were all metal. But when he smiled, his eyes sparkled, and I had to return the smile. He lives with his grandpa who is confined to a wheelchair. The little guy is grandpa's caregiver. He was fascinated with my nursing bag and wanted to see everything in it. I wanted to give him something, so I gave him my tape measure. You would think I had given him a winning lottery ticket! He hugged me for an eternity. 

I couldn't stop thinking about him today; and I derived no comfort from knowing that my own grandchildren live comfortably. I wrote this for that little guy.

Is there some plausible reason why

If God made us all the same,

Some people live in abject poverty

And others vacation in Spain?

Why are children born with birth defects

And heart-breaking anomalies?

Why, in the world’s richest nation

Are there so many poor families?

Prenatal care, post partum checks

Well-baby clinics and education

Why can’t this be a reality

In the world’s richest nation?

Preventative medicine, annual check-ups

Should be a routine part of health care.

Keep people well and functional

And keep them off of welfare.

Children in Appalachia

Just want to learn to read.

Their parents never learned

Too many mouths to feed.

Children in Mississippi

Just want a place to live.

Charities look for volunteers

With building skills to give.

Children wandering darkened streets,

Their parents gone, or unknown

Their fondest hope, and greatest wish

Is to find a warm and loving home.

Children who fear going home

To torture and abuse

Children living a silent tragedy

From perpetrators on the loose.

Is this just an isolated problem

Magnified by Media sensation?

Or is this a horrific travesty

In the world’s richest nation?

We have to look at these problems

The depth, and breadth, and scope

For these children are our future

These children are our hope.