Too Late

It’s too late to try again
He’s shown his other side.
While he’s laughing at everything
I am dying inside.

I know the separation is different
For him than it is for me.
I was just a passing fancy
And I loved him passionately.

Looking past his frailties and such
And loving the man I saw inside,
I grew so close to him that,
When I had to end it, I died.

Wanting to be close to him
And share all our tomorrows
I thought he might learn to love me
Instead he brought me sorrows.

I know he loved me at the beach
He treated me so very well
But now, he says his “mind went back”
And my mind went into hell.

He cannot let go of the past
And the wife he lost too early,
He’ll live that life they had
Until his own death, surely.

His heart was torn from his chest
When he found her dead in their bed,
And now, when he is with a woman
He has no heart to share.

I say I will not love again
I know that is not true.
The man I come to love
Will surely love me, too.

I will not spend my time
Crying over the past.
I know I made too many mistakes
And that it couldn’t last.

If I must love another
And I want love to be
Find a partner who has done the work
And whose heart and soul are free.

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes in frustration,
Not feeling well, and wanting to shout:
Why do I feel like this today?
And why am I so full of self-doubt?

I feel the movement of air
Across my face just now.
I open my eyes; the room is empty and still.
I felt it; I’m sure, but how?

I feel a settling in my soul,
A new, peaceful sensation.
I hear a familiar voice speaking
Giving me a revelation.

You are fine, you will go on
You still have work to do.
There are others who are suffering
And they depend on you.

Throw off your mantle of doubt,
Let the sun in your soul shine.
For you still have work to do,
Sweet Daughter of mine.

I nearly jump out of my skin
I recognize now that voice
It is my Daddy commanding me
And I have no choice.

Get up, Dear Daughter, stop hurting
Get out and do what you must do.
I’ll see you in the sweet By and By,
When your work is through.

The Crossroads

I have reached another crossroads in my unfolding life:
There are several directions I could choose to go
None of them seems more promising than any other
So the choice will be a difficult one to make.

I can continue down the path I am on
A known, well-traveled path that runs through my life
Or I can veer to the more adventurous side
And follow along a more exciting journey.

On the other side, is the easiest path
The ignoble path of least resistance
I can follow that path in a comatose state, never having to think
Of the things and events and people that have made me who I am.

Or, I can reinvent myself, with a newly-written history
And try on a different persona for some length of time
I can choose to elicit sympathy from those I meet along the way,
Exposing my pain and frailties for all to see and comment
And bask in the warmth of their kind and caring words
While, inside me, my demons have a field day.

I can choose to follow the path of honesty and acceptance
Not from others but from myself
Being honest in all my introspective moments
Taking blame for what is mine and letting go of what is not.
Choosing once and for all to put to rest,
The parts of my history that changed who I am

For, who I am is not all that bad.

Just For Today

I have come to this place, just for today
Collecting random thoughts as I go my way.
I will gather my memories of where I have been
For I may never pass on this road again.

Offering well wishes to those that I see,
Wondering what my destination might be.
Huddled in the cold, sweltering in the hot,
Hoping my life is not occurring for naught.

Breathing new hope into the lives that I touch,
Hoping my visit will not tire them too much.
Casting forever, my fate to the wind,
Should I keep going, or begin again?

Not knowing what awaits me around each turn,
Wandering and lonely, for direction I yearn.
A place to go live, a hearth, a home
Ending forever, my desire to roam.

I take each day as it is given to me,
Making it better by the things that I see.
Asking for nothing, from you, in return,
Except gently present me with a lesson to learn.

Teach me to be happy and content,
Until I have, all my days spent.
Give me the strength to keep going on,
Let someone remember me when I’m gone.

The Tether

When two hearts begin
To move closer together
Without conscious thought
They begin to weave a tether.

In this act of coming together
Their actions are sublime
Slowly, steadfastly weaving
One strand at a time.

Not a rope that binds them
To each other forcefully
More like a woven bond
Encircling them peacefully.

A tether that can twist and turn,
With no fear that it may break.
A binding together of two hearts,
With plenty of give and take.

A tether between two hungry souls,
Providing nourishment, one to the other
Like the loving conduit between
A child and his mother.

Aware that bonds can be broken
By words or thoughts that deceive,
Carefully guided by honesty
Their tethered bond they weave.

The progress made in weaving
Is sometimes too small to discern
But the strength of the tether
Demonstrates how they yearn.

Their closeness, ever growing
As the tether does entwine
Their hearts together, beat as one,
Having joined through subtle design.

And now they have each other
To lean on, and raise up,
Because the joy that true love brings,
Woven together, overflows their cup.

September 11, 2001

The alarm was sounded. Without hesitation, they went into action.
Habits, ingrained through real life trauma and practice drills, took over
Thoughts were of the needs of others, always.
Code 3 to the scene: lights and sirens onward to meet the tragedy.
Horrified by the sights that greeted them, but not missing a step
Pulling turnouts up, grabbing equipment, heading without hesitation
To greet the grim scene, head on, fearlessly
Passing fleeing civilians: coughing, dazed, bleeding, crying
Up the down staircase, rushing past those fleeing to safety
Into the darkness and uncertainty, pushing forward, searching
Calling out to victims, survivors, the frightened, cowering humanity
Awakened forever from any sense of complacency
Black smoke, burning jet fuel, screams, crashing walls and cinders
Nothing stopped their upward trek, seeking those who needed their help
Reaching, touching horrified humanity, screaming in fright and pain
“I’m here, I’ll help you!” A joyous sound in the midst of a nightmare.
Flashlights illuminating unbelievable destruction and painful death
Heroes, searching desperately for survivors in the midst of the rubble.
Thunderous sounds of crashing architecture, dropping like thrown powder
On top of itself, dropping, dropping, dropping until it reached

Ground Zero.

Angels Among Us

Go quietly into the peaceful night,
Gentle angel on a mission
For your work is done here,
The one you’ve helped is finally healing
And there is no more for you to do.

Go swiftly to another place and time
Brave angel on a mission
To find that person who needs you
Whose life is full of suffering
For there is plenty for you to do.

You cannot chose your missions
Or the people that you are to help
Go, as if guided by the wind
Let the troubled ones come to you
For they are the ones for whom you must do.

Silently, sweetly spread your wings and fly
O’er the earth to that special place
Where someone is dying and needs your love
And needs to see your kindly smile.
For there is much work for you to do.

And when, at last, you can help no more
And you have given all the love that you can
You will lie down, tired and weary
And, on the wings of the glorious angels
You’ll be carried home, for your work is done.

The Patient Heart

The patient heart that beats within
My battered, bloody chest
Has been beating for so many years
And has always stood time’s test.

Ripped out, crushed, broken in two
Time and time again.
I really have to marvel
At the places it has been.

A teenage crush, a life’s partner
Both have metered its beat.
And at the appropriate time
Have caused my heart’s defeat.

I stood right up and counted
The heart beats per minute,
In disbelief and amazement
That there were beats left in it.

Does that mean my heart
Is more resilient than yours?
Or could it possibly mean
My spirit just endures?

I never made the decision
To join my life with another
Only to have my heart broken
Too late, I did discover.

Would I choose to enter in
A union that would cause pain?
Risking sadness and heartbreak
Time and time again?

Fear of love, fear of loss
Fear of having to let go
Fear of being forever alone,
Are things, of which, I know.

The human heart is frail
And stronger than an ox.
But first, before giving it,
Put your fears behind locks.

Easier said than done,
You sniff, as your retort.
Easier done than said,
It you have the right support.

If you choose someone to love
With your eyes wide open,
And recognize love when you see it,
In deeds, not just words spoken.

Finding real love another time
Can help, your fears, to spurn.
Finding someone to love all of you
Asking only for your love in return.

To have someone love you,
Fully, and without fear
Is truly quite a miracle
Something to be held dear.

Love is not something to cast off lightly
To reject or to make jest,
Look carefully at what you might lose,
When you deny love’s request.

To ask someone to wait while you finish work
Leftover from chapters passed.
Is really quite appropriate,
If the new love is to last.

The time to work on closing
The pages of your past life
Was long before you got here
With this new woman you seem to like.

You had no reason to do the work
You were comfortable in your rut
Safe and sound and sorry
Too lazy to get off your butt.

Now you risk a loss in your life
That’s larger than those past,
For you have the opportunity to act
And make this new love last.

Not in the power of some other being
Or a quirky chance of fate,
You can make this love work,
Assuming you’re not too late.

The power is yours, to make decisions
That impact your very own future,
Go or stay, love or leave,
Keep her love, or lose her.

So, what is it that is really?
Rocking your personal world?
Is this woman who loves you
Not your kind of girl?

Do you not have feelings for her?
Or find her not attractive?
Is there something in her nature
That you find too distractive?

So, take your time, make your choices
Then please, do have your say.
And so will she, have choices, that is.
Deciding to wait forever, or go away.

I Wait for You.......

My decision is already made
A product of my heart’s desire and my mind’s thoughts,
I have assembled a wish list and filled it
And it is you.

Feeling, touching, holding you every waking hour
In my imagination.
Knowing that reality is probably
A million miles away.

Longing for a closeness to you
A togetherness you have had before
Violated by the unkind, uncaring, hateful
Actions of the one you shared it with.

Longing for love from you
Love I have never known
Love that is painfully remembered by you
From another woman.

Feeling distance building between us
Fearing that you are letting me go
Yet, loving you enough, my darling
To tell you “it’s alright to say goodbye”.

Patient and kind, Caring and loving,
Words used by others , To describe me.
Descriptions that have no meaning,
If they are not used by you.

I have no way to convince you
That I could be a person to love.
I can only sit here, powerless,
And hope you find out for yourself.

Find out, and realize deep in your heart
That something is missing in your life
And somebody is waiting to share it with you
And the void can be filled.

And so, as I grow older each day,
And live and laugh and learn
I pray that, somehow, you will come back to me
And pull me close into your arms.

And so, I wait for you.

Sunsets

How many more sunsets will I have
As I reach the sunset of my own time?
Will there be plenty more to see,
And memories to make, so sublime?

Can I know what lies ahead?
What path my life must take?
Or will it all be revealed to me,
Through mistakes that I must make?

I love to watch the setting sun,
Orange rays proclaim its glory.
Will my own days end similarly
Or will my life be another story?

I’m not thinking of my own sunset,
For my life is all about living.
I am concerned that, at the end,
My taking is outweighed by my giving.


The joy I find in watching the sunset
Is the same joy that I try to give to others.
But, if I can save a little for me,
Well, that would be my druthers!

There certainly are no guarantees,
In this unpredictable life I live,
I only ask for someone to love,
Because I still have so much love to give.


As I watched the sunset tonight,
My heart was feeling very lonely.
And so I prayed that my Sunset days
Would be with my One and Only.

A Visitor??

I close my eyes in frustration,
Not feeling well, and wanting to shout:
Why do I feel like this today?
And why am I so full of self-doubt?

I feel the movement of air
Across my face just now.
I open my eyes; the room is empty and still.
I felt it; I’m sure, but how?

I feel a settling in my soul,
A new, peaceful sensation.
I hear a familiar voice speaking
Giving me a revelation.

You are fine, you will go on
You still have work to do.
There are others who are suffering
And they depend on you.

Throw off your mantle of doubt,
Let the sun in your soul shine.
For you still have work to do,
Sweet Daughter of mine.

I nearly jump out of my skin
I recognize now that voice
It is my Daddy commanding me
And I have no choice.

Get up, Dear Daughter, stop hurting
Get out and do what you must do.
I’ll see you in the sweet By and By,
When your work is through.
Cali