Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

White Picket Fence....

I only lived in one house that had a white picket fence, and it was when I was very small. Doesn't matter, it isn't the fence I miss, it's the symbolism. The times. The way of life. The simplicity of every day.

I want it back.....

I know, I know. Impossible, you say. It was such a small window of time: the war was over and the troops had returned home. Korea was on some other planet, perhaps. Life in small-town America was coming together again.

In the summer, the grass was greener, the trees were bigger (really) and the fruit and vegetables were abundant. I had no idea how much money my daddy made and I didn't care: we had enough to eat. And my mother made sure I had flouncy, frilly dresses to wear. Too many dresses: I preferred my overalls. I never got in trouble for getting my overalls dirty....

Life was home and family, friends, school and church. A HUGE treat, once a month or so, was to go out to dinner. My older brother hated it: we had to share a dinner and I always got to choose and I always chose fried chicken.

We stood in class, in the morning, and said the Pledge of Allegiance. With gusto, mostly. We knew our fathers had gone off to the war and fought hard and kept our freedom safe. We didn't know where, or how, but we knew they were heroes.

We had one car and Daddy drove it to work. If my mother wanted to use the car, she had to take Daddy to work in the morning. If it was raining, she might drop us off at school but mostly, we walked to school, rain or shine.

And when it did rain, we took our roller skates to school. During recess, we were allowed to skate on the walkways outside our classrooms. Teachers were posted at the corners to slow us down, if we were going too fast. And if someone got hurt, there was a nurse in the school office.

I knew every kid in the neighborhood. Played with the ones who were close to my age. We ran all over the neighborhood, barefooted, all summer long. We didn't have to go home until our mothers called us and then we hurried home. For supper.

My mother wore an apron when she cooked. All our meals happened at the dining room table. My brothers on one side, me on the other, and my parents at each end of the table. I didn't have to have a sibling “elbowing” me when I ate. I had something worse: when the telephone rang, I had to answer it, since my chair was right next to the phone table.

On summer nights, we sat outside, on the patio, and talked or read or played games. The windows were open so we could hear the radio and the tunes wafting out the window on the summer breeze. Sometimes, we listened to music, sometimes to news, and sometimes to a program like “The Lone Ranger.”

When we finally got a television, we were only allowed to watch it for an hour a day: “it'll ruin your eyes!” My mother said that constantly. My parents chose the program and, if we were interested, we watched it, too.

I could go on and on, but it's futile. The memories will have to sustain me. Thomas Wolfe was right: we can't go home again....



Saturday, January 2, 2010

Quiet Glory...

Another day has happened...
Another day is coming to a close.
Did things happen the way I wanted?
Did events occur just as I chose?

If I could go back through my life
And edit out the things I should,
Would I still be who I am today,
If I achieved all the things I could?

Or would I be someone else?
Living life in a different space?
Would that other me be the same?
Or have the same voice and face?

Would I still have the happiness
That has found me at long last?
Or would I live sorrowfully,
Defeated by the life that passed?

I guess it doesn't matter
Where I think I might have been,
For I know that it is gone,
I shall never pass this way again.

And so I count my blessings
My memories, gather round.
And for whatever reasons,
Rejoice in the joy I have found.

If life is a tangled journey,
From birth to wherever we are,
I'm glad I made my own path,
And followed my own star.

As my day and my life are ending,
And I'm nearer the end of the story,
I'm thankful for the opportunity,
To live in my own, quiet glory.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Memories....A Poem...

Life seems to be such a quandary....
Living somewhere besides where I want to be.
Spending my time in memories of the past
Why is it only the memories that last?

Life is happening all around
But, in the past, is where I'm found.
Life is so precious Life is so dear
Why can't I live right now, right here?

Why do I feel so all alone?
Togetherness is what my memories have shown.
People I love People so near
Being together brings love and good cheer.

So I'll hold close, my memories, and then
Go forward, to my future and leave where I've been.
My memories, so precious, with all the strength they give,
Here and now is where I am; and here and now, is where I'll live.

Rich, layered memories of seasons past...
Live beside moments that are passing too fast.
With memories of the past and those folks I hold dear,
I'll live in the moment and be of good cheer.

For tomorrow will come before we know...
Today's memories will linger like new-fallen snow.
So pretty, so ethereal, so white and so cold.
Now passes too fast and soon, I'll be old.

Gathering my memories, and these fresh moments, too
I am moving forward....heading, always, toward you.
Memories from the past, precious moments in time
Past, present and future, in our love, entwined.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Your Turn to Bloom..

Open up, Bright Flower
Don't start to fade...
It's your turn to bloom
Your dues are paid.

The good times are coming
The bad times are past
It's your turn to bloom,
And be happy, at last.

Though wrongs are not righted,
And justice is not done,
It's your turn to bloom,
And have some fun.

The chores are finished,
The children are grown,
It's your turn to bloom,
Your way will be shown.

Life has moved on
You've rounded the bend,
It's your turn to bloom,
And bloom till the end.

Sweet sunset is coming,
Then the darkness before dawn,
It's your turn to bloom,
Before it's all gone.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Sweet Child O'Mine..

Precious Little Child, Sweet Child O'Mine..
Your eyes twinkle like the stars that shine..
The inner beauty that shows in your face,
Is borne of the joy that is your grace...

Alive and living and learning so many things..
The sound of your voice gives my heart wings.
I was there for your birth, Sweet Child O'Mine,
I was there for your birth, an event so divine.

How fast you've grown, and gotten so tall,
It's hard to remember when you were just small.
You learn so quickly, and you love so well,
Beauty so bewitching, you cast a spell...

Living so sweetly, and now out of my dreams,
And into real life, so very busy, it seems.
How can I touch you, what words will you hear?
What secret password will gain me entrance to your sphere?

How lovely the light, that glows in your soul,
And when we are together, the days, so full..
Guided by love and light and life and reasons...
We relish each day, and all of the seasons.

How I cherish the memories of your sweet baby days,
Even as I watch you growing, in my loving gaze...
Taller and prettier and kind and loving as can be,
You'll always be my Baby Noelle-y to me!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Heroes

The alarm was sounded. Without hesitation, they went into action

Habits, ingrained through real life trauma and practice drills, took over

Thoughts were of the needs of others, always

Code 3 to the scene: lights and sirens onward to meet the tragedy

Horrified by the sights that greeted them, but not missing a step

Pulling turnouts up, grabbing equipment, heading without hesitation

To greet the grim scene, head on, fearlessly

Passing fleeing civilians: coughing, dazed, bleeding, crying

Up the down staircase, rushing past those who were seeking safety

Into the darkness and uncertainty, pushing forward, searching

Calling out to victims, survivors, the frightened, cowering humanity

Awakened forever from any sense of complacency

Black smoke, burning jet fuel, screams, crashing walls and cinders

Nothing stopped their upward trek, seeking those who needed their help

Reaching, touching horrified humanity, screaming in fright and pain

“I’m here, I’ll help you!” A joyous sound in the midst of a nightmare

Flashlights illuminating unbelievable destruction and painful death

Heroes, searching desperately for survivors in the midst of the rubble.

Thunderous sounds of crashing architecture, dropping like thrown powder

On top of itself, dropping, dropping, dropping until it reached

Ground Zero.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Today...

The sun is setting
Yet the twilight lingers..
Another day
Slips through my fingers.

Another day of life
On my tab, mounts
Did I choose
Something that counts?

Did I accomplish
Something brave or bold?
Is there another story
That I have told?

Is this world
A better place?
Did I put a smile
On someone’s face?

Of the countless things
I wanted to do…
Did any get done?
Did I follow through?

Did I tell those I love
What they mean to me?
Did I paint a picture
For them to see?

Did I finish things
Already started?
Did I share kind thoughts
Before friends departed?

Have I done
What’s needed today?
Have I said
What I needed to say?

And now, at last
As this day is done
I think I’ll go watch
The setting sun.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sorrow comes and sorrow goes....

Sorrow comes and sorrow goes…
The feeling is fleeting but the pain lingers.
How can I live a life filled with sorrow?
When did the joy slip through my fingers?

I have known pain and crushing disappointment,
I gave them their due, then sent them away.
Sometimes lingering in a pool of self-pity,
Other times, losing them in the light of day.

Life is full of those moments of sorrow…
That turn into days and weeks and years.
Seconds, and minutes and hours lost
Because I gave in to my worst fears.

I cannot predict what sorrows are waiting
To inflict pain at the worst possible time.
But then, again, what time is best?
Does pain ever have any reason or rhyme?

And can we really live in a happy world?
Devoid of pain and suffering and sorrow?
How can I appreciate the sunshine today,
Unless I know that it might rain tomorrow?

So every day, I appreciate life’s little joys
They help me assuage the moments of sorrow.
And if the clouds are raining today,
Then the sun will surely shine tomorrow.

Such a simple verse you are reading,
And really not so very clever.
But these simple thoughts expressed
Abide with me, in my heart, forever.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My Life...

A hundred thousand people,
Through my life have marched.
Some assuaged my thirst,
And some left me parched.

All have left their mark,
On my soul, in some strange way,
Some by their actions,
Others by what they say.

The ones I felt drawn to,
Those who meant the most,
Have always been the humble ones,
Not given to ever boast.

Some have told me lies,
And hurt me, or made me mad.
But all in all, the goodness,
Far outweighs the bad.

Those who share my joy
At dancing in the rain,
Are the ones who are always
Welcome to come back again.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

For My Best, Best Friend

Long ago, and far away,
This sweet little boy stood in a park.
A pensive look
And deep, brown eyes,
On his journey, barely embarked.

As he traveled on his appointed path,
It seemed that it would never end.
In the school of Life
He picked up titles:
Student, soldier, husband, father, friend.

And life went on in a normal fashion
Still seeming as if it would never end.
Then things changed,
And rearranged,
And his star began to descend.

He began to fear, for his Twilight Years,
Was this descent to be his fate?
Trying one last dance,
He took a chance
And asked his Somebody for a date.

The evening was like magic,
As if a Genie opened up a jar.
Their love revealed
And, with a kiss, sealed
By the light of a shooting star.

No more doubts or uncertainties,
No need to wonder how it might end,
No more fears,
For his Twilight Years
Will be spent with his best, Best Friend.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Questions

Once in awhile, something happens,
Someone comes into your life.
You see him with different eyes,
Eyes you have ever used before.
Colors are brighter, lights are lighter
Everything around you has an aura.
Nothing is as it once was
All is old, but new again.
Rain is refreshing, sunlight is brighter
Grass is greener, its smell: sweeter.
Things that bothered you before
Are now really quite tolerable.
Things that merely made you happy
Now make you incredibly joyful.
Have you changed yourself?
Or did his presence change you?
Or has the truth just awakened
Your sleeping heart?
Does it matter what happens next?
Or can you be content with today’s joy?
Can you be who you really are,
Once you see who he really is?
Do you need to see the future?
Or can you be content with today?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Through Loving Eyes

Things that were old are new again,
When seen through loving eyes.
Roads traveled many times before,
Take me to very different places.

What was once no more than mundane,
Commonplace and very well known,
Has now become new and exciting
When seen through loving eyes.

You touch me with your embrace,
And hold me close and whisper,
And all the world is a concert hall,
Playing a melody just for us.

Things that bloomed, bloom more profusely,
Colors glow in surrealistic shades.
Laughter makes my heart take flight,
And lifts the veil of pain and sorrow.

Has the world really changed?
Or taken off some cruel disguise?
Or am I seeing it again for the first time,
When I look at it with loving eyes?

Friday, June 12, 2009

Sometimes I Get Introspective........

There are two forms of solitude:

One is loneliness, an unfortunate state,
And aloneness, which is chosen.

Loneliness leads to isolation and despair
Aloneness provides a time for repair.
Making choices that preserve my sense of self
Is not the same as being abandoned by another.

Sometimes abandonment is accidental
And my someone did not want to leave.
Other times, it is done with a purpose
Either way, it causes me to grieve.

Is it harder to grieve the loss of someone
Who did not want to go away?
Or is the pain more palpable when
The other is still living and just decided to stray?

Can the difference between the types
Of solitude be measured or judged?
Can aloneness provide comfort
That loneliness can’t?

Is there any joy to be had in finding out
That the choice to abandon me was calculated
To cause maximum grief on my part?

There is no joy in loneliness but
There can be great joy in mastering aloneness.

Learning to be comfortable with myself;
Leisurely learning what makes me tick.
Testing my strength and endurance
By placing me in the thick of it.

Having the time, in my aloneness,
To come to the realization:
I know who I am, I know where I’m going
And I know what it is that I want.

In my aloneness, through introspection
Deep in my heart of hearts,
I find that the Whole of me,
Is greater than my Parts.

And when I am in this place,
Looking carefully at my needs,
Sometimes I see that the Sum of me
Is made up of good deeds.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Days of My Life...

I’ve never had wealth.
I had power for a while but, 
I gave it back.
Knowledge, I’ve gained
Over the years
Serves me well when I need it
My looks are fine but 
I don’t stand out
I am just one of the crowd.
Blessings come and blessings go
Sorrows followed by bouts of joy.
Seeing the people in my world
Through loving eyes.
Walking gently through
The days of my life.
Enjoying what I can and 
Ignoring the rest.
Working hard each day
To provide for my food and shelter.
There is only one thing that I have
That you cannot have….
No matter how hard you may try.
You can never, and I will always…
Be trying to be the very best 
ME.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I Cannot Help But Wonder Why???


I met a little guy, 5 years old, in my travels as a home health nurse. 

He was dirty, and skinny, and had no shoes. When he smiled, his front teeth were all metal. But when he smiled, his eyes sparkled, and I had to return the smile. He lives with his grandpa who is confined to a wheelchair. The little guy is grandpa's caregiver. He was fascinated with my nursing bag and wanted to see everything in it. I wanted to give him something, so I gave him my tape measure. You would think I had given him a winning lottery ticket! He hugged me for an eternity. 

I couldn't stop thinking about him today; and I derived no comfort from knowing that my own grandchildren live comfortably. I wrote this for that little guy.

Is there some plausible reason why
If God made us all the same,
Some people live in abject poverty
And others vacation in Spain?

Why are children born with birth defects
And heart-breaking anomalies?
Why, in the world’s richest nation
Are there so many poor families?

Prenatal care, post partum checks
Well-baby clinics and education
Why can’t this be a reality
In the world’s richest nation?

Preventative medicine, annual check-ups
Should be a routine part of health care.
Keep people well and functional
And keep them off of welfare.

Children in Appalachia
Just want to learn to read.
Their parents never learned
Too many mouths to feed.

Children in Mississippi
Just want a place to live.
Charities look for volunteers
With building skills to give.

Children wandering darkened streets,
Their parents gone, or unknown
Their fondest hope, and greatest wish
Is to find a warm and loving home.

Children who fear going home
To torture and abuse
Children living a silent tragedy
From perpetrators on the loose.

Is this just an isolated problem
Magnified by Media sensation?
Or is this a horrific travesty
In the world’s richest nation?

We have to look at these problems
The depth, and breadth, and scope
For these children are our future
These children are our hope.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I Went Down to the River Today

I went down to the river today,
Had a lot of thinking to do.
Down to the river to think for awhile.
Pleasant thoughts, all about you.

I went down to the river today,
Took off my shoes and got my feet wet.
Water was cold; I won’t go any farther,
I’m not ready to take the plunge yet.

I went down to the river today,
Watched the water as it flowed by
Washing the rocks and moving the sand
I was watching and wondering why.

I went down to the river today,
Sat on a rock at the river’s edge.
Watched the sunlight dapple on the water,
Closed my eyes and let myself veg.

I went down to the river today,
Looked at the water and shed a tear,
Thought about you, and me, and us,
Wondering: what is it that I fear?

I went down to the river today,
Thinking: what if you should go away?
Will I be able to carry on or not?
I won’t look at that sad day.

I went down to the river today,
Looked at the water and had to say:
“I know I always want to be with you,
Come down to the river with me and play.”

I went down to the river today,
What, to my surprise, did I see?
Sitting right there on that big ol’ rock,
You were waiting, and smiling, just for me!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I Give Myself Permission

To Be A Woman:
To recognize and appreciate that which makes me different from a man.
To recognize and appreciate that which attracts me to a man.
To wear dresses, and perfume, and carry a huge purse, if I want
To paint my fingernails and toenails hot pink
To wear a toe ring….a Toe Ring…….how appropriate!
To wear my favorite bangle bracelets.

To Be A Little Girl Again:
To sit on the floor and teach my granddaughter to play jacks
To color outside the lines, if I want
To play “dress-up” at the second-hand store
To sing my favorite songs, out of tune
To laugh for the pure joy of laughing
To say “EWWWWWWWWW” and “Whatever”

To Be A Professional Nurse:
To be a nurturer, a teacher, a friend, and a confidante
To be a fighter, aggressively seeking what my patients need
To be an expert, providing the quality care my patients deserve
To be funny, and fun, and smiling, bringing the sunshine into their lives
To advocate for issues that are important to me, such as child abuse

To Be A Friend:
To enjoy the gift of friendship that has been given to me
To treat each of my friends respectfully, and with caring
To appreciate the things we have in common, and 
To celebrate our differences
To “be there” for them, as they always are for me
To trust and be trusted

To Be A Lover:
To find in another the love that I seek
To appreciate, and not question it
To give of myself completely and not hold back
To treasure the gift that he gives me
To find joy in our relationship
To find love in our lifetime 
To discard expectations and value what really is
To give my heart and receive his in return

To Be All These Things At One Time:
To find my joy and infuse it in all my relationships
To seek knowledge and find it in unexpected places
To give more than I receive, at least initially
To appreciate fully the gifts that I receive from those I love
To hold dear the principles upon which I was raised
To demonstrate my concern for others every day
To laugh at myself, instead of others
To find humor, and love, and caring in out-of-the-way encounters
To be open to change, and embrace familiarity
To be a worthy occupant of this crazy world!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Thoughts On Being A Nurse..........


What should I do when all seems lost?
When it is gone, where does hope go?
When dreams die, do they fade away?
Or is there something I should know?

I work each day as a home health nurse,
Dealing always with illness and dying.
Providing support, and comfort, if I can
To those who are angry, or sad, or crying.

On and on the suffering goes
Hurting everyone in its path.
What kind of Being could be in charge?
Why are so many subject to His wrath?

Is there no light at the end of the tunnel?
No source of renewed hope and grace?
Is nothing that is done going to help the suffering?
Why is this such an awful place?

No! Stop! Don’t go there anymore!
Don’t spread the blackness and the doubt!
I reach inside my heart of hearts,
And pull a ray of sunshine out.

I smile and laugh, and hug a lot,
Giving back what has been given to me.
Seeing the goodness and worth in everyone,
Hoping that they, too, can see.

Life is a gamble, life is a challenge
For every bad thing there is something good.
If I could spread sunshine and love every day,
Trust me, I’m a nurse, and I surely would!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

And So, I Closed the Door…..

Long ago, I loved a boy
Our love was the stuff of dreams.
He loved me, too, and told me so,
Every minute, or so it seems.

Our parents did not approve,
They wanted us to be apart.
His parents sent him away to school, 
And broke my teenage heart.

He wrote for awhile, faithfully
And then he wrote no more.
I had to think he didn’t love me,
And so I closed the door.

I cleaned out the attic and found a box
Full of unopened letters from him.
Mailed to me, at least twice a week
Hidden away in the attic dim.

Romeo and Juliette
Was no more of a tragedy
Than keeping his love letters
From ever coming to me.

Denied the knowledge of his loving words
I thought he had forgotten me.
I moved on to other loves
And thought it was meant to be.

Why did these precious letters
Show up long after my teenage years?
Where were they when we were in love
And why do they bring me tears?

A love that was lost is precious
It grows inside my mind
Out of proportion to reality
Into something undefined.

Was it really so wonderful?
Could he have been my one true love?
Did we possess something special?
Was it like a hand in a glove?

I thought that I would never know
Until the doorbell rang;
I opened the door, there he stood
Suddenly, my heart sang.

He looked at me with loving eyes
He smiled from ear to ear.
I came to ask your parents
Where I might find you, Dear.

Just then a curly-headed little boy
Looked up at him and said “hi”
Yes, my love, this is my son,
Our time together has passed us by.

Still smiling faintly, he looked at me
I could feel my poor heart melt
For walking away, down the front steps
Was the greatest love I ever felt.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Once and A While...

Once in awhile, something happens,
Someone comes into your life.
You see him with different eyes,
Eyes you have ever used before.


Colors are brighter, lights are lighter
Everything around you has an aura.
Nothing is as it once was
All is old, but new again.


Rain is refreshing, sunlight is brighter
Grass is greener, its smell: sweeter.
Things that bothered you before
Are now really quite tolerable.


Things that merely made you happy
Now make you incredibly joyful.
Have you changed yourself?


Or did his presence change you?
Or has the truth just awakened
Your sleeping heart?


Does it matter what happens next?
Or can you be content with today’s joy?


Can you be who you really are,
Once you see who he really is?


Do you need to see the future?
Or can you be content with today?